i got misty-eyed at this bit and i am not fucking ashamed
I did too! I was like, “Don’t make me cry Neil!” He didn’t listen.
mermaid: bae come over i’m bored
me: i cant breathe underwater
mermaid: i’m off my period
cheating on a girl (x)
the last girl though
That last girl was the most prepared, and probably, the best friend. You know you have a great friend when they are willing to share their Doritos with you.
This is me, all the time.
you finally sneak into the dragon’s cave and find his treasure chest. you open it and there is just a macaroni drawing by the dragon’s son.
“ITS TREASURE TO MEEEEE” the dragon bellows
Phosphenes n. the stars and colors you see when you rub your eyes
Best. Bit. Ever.
You mean you’ve NEVER heard the story of the….
…HASH SLINGING SLASHER?
The sash bringing
The trash singing
The flash springing
The crash dinging
….Yes. The Hash Slinging Slasher.